My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
