can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
