I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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