I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
