I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
