He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
