HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
