the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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