okay pat passed out under dana's car
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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