I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
