508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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