Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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