I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
