I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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