theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
