oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
