I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
