This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
