I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
