your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
