There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
