I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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