All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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