She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
