So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
