Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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