I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
