dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My vagina is officially offended.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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