Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
