Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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