all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
