She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
well you can't waste a boner
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
