he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
