I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
