I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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