we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
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Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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