My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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