i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
