YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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