I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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