i barfeds in our rink
its not stalking. its research.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
