She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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