this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Enjoy the penises
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
