I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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