His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
