I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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