sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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