She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
