I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
well you can't waste a boner
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
