fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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