I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I need water and some morals
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
