in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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