so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish you could order shots online.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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