You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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