honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
