just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
