BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
