So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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