we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
