i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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