he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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