You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Randomize