if i died would you start the facebook group?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
