no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize