I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize